Day 14. 28th June. Dublin to Zurich

Just going to put this out there. Dublin’s traffic system is STUPID!!!!! It has massively wide, multi lane streets. Some are one way, some are two way. Some streets swap between one and two way. There is no semblance of a grid. AND THEY HAVE NO STREET SIGNS. Well that is a lie, they have them BUT YOU CANT READ THEM. Actually that is a lie too, they have SOME. But the majority of streets do not have signage. Now throw in Trams and many many angry drivers, pedestrians and cyclists. And also some blind corners. On one occasion when forced to block a tiny portion of the road in order to inch across and change lanes on a one-way street, a passing cyclist while yelling at us actually punched the car. Like, my god, we caused him to have to steer a whole metre out of his most direct path. I’m not very pleased with the nature of Dubliners from what I have seen. But oh well.

Also to hinder us Elizabeth Wooten-Basset’s ongoing disorder is still affecting her to an extent. This morning she was able to help us however clearly not on the most direct route. But she also did not start working till we were a decent way from the hotel. Fun times. But we did make it.

While at the airport, we decided we had had enough of Elizabeth Wootan-Bassett’s treason (well, crimes against us). A quick trial was held and she was found guilty. This meant that she could not be re-homed and she certainly was not going to be transported to the colony in Australia and given a second chance on our next trip. Her punishment? Maybe we had been influenced by two weeks in the UK, but she was sentenced as a traitor. Hung, Drawn and Quartered. Once this was done, her parts were scattered to the four corners of the kingdom, well the airport. A small part was kept for London Bridge. William Wallace would be proud.

A short flight and we were in Switzerland. The airport and train station was an interesting experience. We eventually found a ticket machine that half spoke English and got our tickets. Crossed our fingers and jumped on a train. We got it right, by some miracle. A taxi to the hotel, which turned out to be obscenely expensive then we set out to explore Zurich.

We caught the trams up the city and explored. We looked at some shops, the old town, St. Peters with the largest clock face in Europe. Know what? It is pretty big.

Zurich is beautiful, I love it, a great vibe is going on here and the people are all very friendly and try to help. The English speaking is amazing here, most have had a pretty good grasp of it, and anyone else has spoken it very well. It always shocks me how easy travel is for English speakers. We are so lucky, almost anywhere people will speak English (in the main cities anyway) even when it is not the national language. Incredible.

On the river that runs through the city we saw some sort of women's swim club. It is a floating pontoon with two pools surrounded by decks for longing on, change rooms, showers and massage rooms and of course a bar. It was full of women swimming and relaxing. I so wanted to swim, it was so stinking hot.

Apparently we have managed to catch a heat wave, it is never this hot here, but is for our arrival. Lame. Actually it wasn’t so bad once we got changed at the hotel. Coming home from the airport was shocking being dressed for Ireland.

We went for a fondue dinner, something Switzerland is famous for. It was delicious, so very very yummy. Oh and a cracking good glass of local red for me. (French bubbles for Raina) And the waiters were fantastic colorful Swiss folk. Really nice and funny. :D

Totally loving Switzerland.

Day 13. 27th June. Blarney, Thomastown, Dublin.

Another day of driving through the Irish countryside. More pretty stuff, more cool stuff like all the local dairy farmers driving their trailers of milk to the depot.

We went to Limerick and composed some limericks, we went to Tipperary, as in the song “it’s a long long way to Tipperary.” ☺

Then we went to a little place called Thomastown. Thomastown in Killkenny County is the town of our Burke ancestors. Raina's granddad lived there until he migrated to Australia. We had a great pub lunch there and watched the colorful characters. The bar was pretty damn full for 1pm. Lol. One man who looked a bit like the ove child of Denathor from Lord of the Rings and Filtch from Harry Potter. He had his little dog in the bar with him. It scurried around and picked up dropped bits all over the pub. Another funny moment occurred when the bar tender left the pub and headed across the road for some groceries, leaving all the customers alone in the bar. Very nice small town mentality there. ☺

Back to Dublin to sort out some packing to head off to Switzerland tomorrow.

And I got a Lime and soda at the hotel bar. Check out the size of the bottle of soda water...lol

Day 12. 26th June. Doolin, Blarney

Today we set out to drive the picturesquely stunning Cliffs of Moher and the Ring of Kerry. This is a circuit highway route that takes you past some stunning inland scenery and the even more stunning coastal scenery including Skellig Islands. This would have been brilliant I assume, alas it seems Raina and I’s scenic pallet is not finely tuned enough to properly appreciate the glorious scenery of pure white nothing. :P

Yes, today there was a spot of fog. Like a lot of it. But still we had fun being ridiculous children throwing cookie crumbs on each other and other such nonsense.

Eventually we made it to Blarney, home of the Blarney Castle and of course the Blarney Stone. We went to the castle, which is a very cool castle. A might bit tourist-ed up but not enough to ruin it. The view from the top is a pretty spectacular one of the surrounding gardens, I can imagine it may have been like that in the 1500’s. Except then I realize that it more likely would have been disgusting mud slosh with pigs and goats and peasant markets and farming all around it. :P

Once atop we – both of us – kissed the blarney stone. This is an interesting experience as the top level of the caste has drainage gaps all around it that you can see straight down to the ground, a very long way. The Blarney Stone itself is the lowermost stone on the outer wall. So to reach the stone you have to lie down with your head facing the wall and feet facing the center of the castle. From here you proceed to (with the assistance of a lovely old Irish man grooping you) holding on to rails running down the wall, lower yourself upside down and smooch away.

I was expecting it to be far more frightening but in the end it wasn’t so bad. Because you are upside down you become totally disoriented and aren’t really able to realize how far below the ground is. That, on top of the logical knowledge that you can not really fall because there are bloody great metal bars secured just below, made the whole experience really not scary at all.
So we kissed the Blarney Stone and hopefully have contracted the gift of the gap (as that is it’s magic) and hopefully nothing else.

That night we stayed in Blarney at another pub and I finally found a coffee shop. Ahhh, the first in many days. Sigh

Day 11. 25th June. Burren and Doolin

Another day of travel and looking at stuff awaited us. We started of by heading to The Burren, a portion of Ireland that is kast landscape. A desolate looking rock strewn and wind swept environment. It is insane - this completely inhospitable looking land which is actually rather abundant in life. Between the rocks small ferns and grasses and flowers grow protected from the wind.

Here are some ancient (over 5,000 years old) structures. Just a small organized construction of rocks, like the little bark huts children make in gardens. Pretty incredible really.

The rocks in this landscape blew me away, and more incredible is that people farm here, they manage to live and grow things here. We saw one freshly plowed field and the soil was more rock then dirt.

We saw lots of sweet little funny things like a donkey putting its head over a high wall to look at us over the stone fence.

How the trees – or rather bushes, no trees grow here - grow on this amazing angle all as far as you can see pointing in the same direction as the constant wind has shaped them.

It actually astounds me though that we managed to find any of the actual sights on our list to see. In Ireland it is incredibly difficult to ever find anything. The untimely progression of Elizabeth Wooten-Basset’s nurological disorder does not assist this issue, as she sometimes direct us and other times does not, but even so. There will be a sign to whatever it is you want to see and then you might follow these signposts for a few corners till they simply disappear, most unhelpful.

Anyway we did manage to see some things today and otherwise had a great time being stupid and giggling…a lot. 

Day 10. 24th June. Dublin, Bru na Bonnie and Giants’s causeway.

This morning we set off again ready to brave the horrors of navigation in Dublin city. Oddly, Dublin is the first city or town we have yet been to with streets more then three centimeters wide and it is a city of one-way streets. This is an infuriating combination, plus Elizabeth Wooten-Bassett seems to not know that many of these streets are one-way. In any case, we did eventually make it out alive.

From here it was the road, a long few days of driving lay ahead with multiple stops and destinations.

The first of these was Bu Na Bonnie (Newgrange) a 5,000 year old burial mound. But it is more then a burial mound. It is a mound in which cremated human remains were found . Who knows what it was for, but in any case, it is magical. I cannot describe how breathtaking this place is. From the outside it does not look so special, just a mound of grass with a stone wall at one side. The stonewall part has been reconstructed out of the original stone that was found collapsed in the 60s’. Now this is something that I am unsure should be done, due to the interpretation of the construction. But that was all forgotten the second I entered. It is a stone construction that forms a sort of cave with a tunnel leading to it. The central cavern is as it was 5,000 years ago. The construction was so well built that it has remained in tact and entirely waterproof since then.

The tunnel has above it, a light box. A small opening above the door that lines up precisely with the solstice sunrise. The light streams in, illuminating the inner sanctum. Maybe it sounds sappy but I could really feel the magic here. A real connection to the earth and history and an astonishing agelessness.

The stone inside has a fair amount of graffiti on it, which seems quite appalling but is softened by the fact that some of the graffiti is dated. One stood out to me, a name, A M McAlroy, 1822. I wonder who he was. (I assume it was a he, might have been a she).

We managed a great success here by the time of our arrival, everywhere tells you that the place opens at 9:30am and you have to queue up at the visitors center and catch busses to the site and be herded in in droves. But Raina and her incredible anal and obsessive research managed to work out that it is in fact the mound itself that opens at 9:30 and busses begin at 9. So most people planning to be early rock up at half past, we and only two others were there at 8.30am and so only four people and the guide were in our group, the next bus in had 30 people. Nice dodge, thank you mother. :D

A drive up the very pretty Atrim coast. Famous for its beautiful beaches and coastal views followed. Views I will give it but as for beaches  - pfft ptfffft lol, pebbely, rocky and cold is expected but what you don’t see on the calendars is the stench. I think it is because of the seaweed that washes up on the beach and then rots. But the beaches were all putrid smelling, disgusting rank and best avoided. And of course castles.

Next we hit up the Giant’s causeway. A remarkable geological phenomenon, something I still struggle to believe is natural and not man made. I think what happened was volcanic rock rose at a high rate and temperature from deep in the earth. Once it came into contact with the oxygen and cold ocean it cooled quickly, solidified and cracked like glass. It cracked in a remarkable geometric and even honeycomb pattern and bits rose higher then others with dead flat tops.

The more fun legend version of the creation of the Giant’s Causeway is that the Giant who lived there was fighting with a giant on a neighboring island (Scotland), throwing rocks at him and built the causeway (which looks remarkably like a staircase) so as to get closer to his target and throw stones more easily.

We spent the evening in a lovely B&B with a crack-a-lacking view and a pub for dinner with mussels and Guinness.

Also, it was cold...

Day 9. 23rd June. Wales to Dublin

Today again was mostly a transit day, but this time by Ferry. We caught the ferry from Hollyhead in Wales to Dublin Ireland. But first we made a stop off in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Yes, that is right the town is called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. There was absolutely no reason to go here except that the town is called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Wicked.

Into Dublin we go. Now I really don’t quiet know how to put this. And I will still reserve judgment, because maybe it was just bad luck or a bad moment or something. But Dublin, was not great. This is completely shattering to me who loves the idea of Ireland so much. Honestly though, it was just not a great city. It lacks a certain atmosphere and the people were not all that friendly. It is a also a little bit dirty and not so safe feeling as some other big cities like Edinburgh, Sydney, Melbourne, New York, Seattle, Chicago, Bangalore, Tokyo etc that I have been to. So fingers crossed that it was just a bad day and when we come back in a few days time it will be amazing. I hope. ☹

We rode a HoHo (Hop on Hop off) bus again and the best thing out of that was the places that famous people lived, worked, studied etc that we passed and the fact that smack in the middle of this major Irish city is both a Guinness factory and a loony bin. Perhaps there is more justification for the stereotype of the mad or the drunken Irish. :P

Dublin is incredibly different to the rest of Great Britain, they have a “Wide Streets Commission” and so the streets are - you guessed it – wide. Everywhere else we have been has had teeny tiny streets that you have to scrape by the other cars, mirrors literally millimeters from touching in some parts. In Dublin however the streets are wide, multiple lanes, parking space and breathing space. Space, space everywhere.

After that we went to a game of Hurling. Now hurling is a Gallic sport played up here. Take rugby, field hockey, ice hocky, European hand ball and a at-whatever-costs mentality and there you have hurling. Oh and don’t forget the cricket ball with lead inside it (they add lead to make the ball bounce slower) or the mildly encouraged violence.

Now I don’t really like sports, I find it all a bit boring. This is a sport I could get into. It is incredible; you have to see it to believe it. We were watching an under 21’s national semi final and it was scary. The crowd also was something worth watching, they get so into it. The field is also used for soccer games and is ringed with a concrete fence with razor wire at the top.

They use something like a field hockey stick with the end pounded flat to hit the ball like you do in hockey, but also to balance it on the flat part (like a violent egg and spoon race) to bounce the ball with (like before serving in tennis – but fast) to hit the ball far like a cricket bat (but served like tennis or hit on the full. There is a lot of variation in any case. It really seemed to be “do whatever you can to get the ball into the goal”.

One thing that amazed me was their ability to catch a ball in their bare hand that had been whacked like furry all the way at the other end of the field. It must have hurt. Speaking of hurt, three guys went down in the first half, it was really quiet distressing, I was sure they were going to be badly hurt, but they all got up. Tough lads. Oh because you also get about six guys pilling on around the ball all gunning for it, people fall over, get hit by another player or get hit in the balls by the ball – as happened to one unfortunate player.

One of the highlights though, was the two players that got into a bit of a scuffle. One was barging into the other who would in turn elbow him in the ribs. You could clearly see how pissed off they were at each other. They got a warning for that. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a fight later that evening or week.

The game was sensational and I wouldn’t have missed it. If you ever get a chance to catch a game of hurling, do.

Day 8. 22nd June. Loch Ness, Loch Lomond, Snodonia Wales

Today was a travel day, so there isn’t really much to tell because all we did was drive from Scotland through England to Wales.

The Scottish Highlands were phenomenal, some of the most glorious scenery in the world. Each bend in the road brings a new sigh or gasp of awe. We stopped at several particularly great spots and got photos or just looked. This place feels like home to me, I love it so much.

We also passed loch Lomond, which is far more beautiful then Loch Ness.

It was terribly sad crossing the Scottish/English border, because of said love for Scotland but it had to be done. Because poor me, has to go to Ireland tomorrow. :P

England then Wales passed and through Snowdonia National Park in Wales some scenery coming close to that in the Scottish highlands was seen. We also saw some really really wild welsh mountain ponies, on the side of a mountain no less.

Also, this owned Welshie that seems to be a bit confused about the proper direction of travel.

The hotel was lovely, the best food we have had on the entire trip (excepting the Jamie Oliver restaurant in Nottingham) and beautifully furnished and decorated rooms. Let me ask you though, have you ever slept on the floor of a hotel (that you have paid for) because it is more comfortable then the bed?

Well, I have. That’s right, the floor with a few cushions was far far more comfortable then the bed supplied. The bed was soft enough to bear though without enjoyment, and a little bit squishy. But the problem was that it had these springs that you could feel with every body part that touched the mattress. Desperately in need of a mattress topper or any kind of padding built into the mattress. I could feel the ends of the springs hooking under my ribs. Eventually I could bear it no more, through down the pillows and flopped on the floor. Sleep at last.

As promised here is an update on Elizabeth Wooten Basset’s condition. Yesterday she suffered a major neurological episode. After a course of severe starvation and solitary isolation and an extensive course of electro shock treatment she appears to be recovered. A partial lobotomy was also required but she does seem to be doing better for it.